Assume being a vampire includes burning to death in sunlight, necessity to drink blood (or your strength and will to live diminish), aversion to onions and the cross, somewhat enhanced strength and speed, immunity to any form of death other than silver bullets and a wooden stake through your heart, and being irresistible to women.
revegelance
What kind of cheese? Even a cheese sauce would be horrid, but if it is a solid cheese, like Cheddar or Swiss, it would likely be quite painful. Perhaps a hard cheese like Parmesan would flake like dandruff?
hlhetzel
Depends. Are we talking Sparkly Twilight Vampires, or Sexy Dracula Vampires?
danielkinane
Sexy Dracula Vampires. The Twilight ones aren't real vampires.