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Options 1061 to 1071
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Discover there is a large quantity of mold growing in one of your walls
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Eat dog food
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Correct grammar was no longer required in any circumstances (including books, newspapers, legal documents)
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Every chip you ate was stale
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It turns out dogs are the smartest beings on the planet and humans exist mainly to serve them
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Be extremely competent but have no self confidence
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Use the washroom, look in the bowl, and see maggots
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Compulsively end every sentence with the word "pie"
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Every second cell in your body duplicates
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Sit at a desk all day