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Options 1073 to 1083
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Your two closest male co-workers walk up to your desk, pee on it (while chatting about sports) then walk away as if nothing happened
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Be an Ewok
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Win the lottery, tell all your friends you've won, start celebrating, but then, as you go to pick up your money you realize you read the ticket wrong and you didn't actually win
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Have hands at the end of your legs
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Live as a Dwarf in the Dwarf Fortress universe
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Vomit marbles
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In exactly ten years animals larger than a Pygmy marmoset will transform into a blue whale. These blue whales will be regular blue whales in every way except they will possess the memories and same intellectual capacity as their original form. Everyone knows this is coming.
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From now on your favorite food loses all flavor to you
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Have athletes foot
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Be one of Santa's reindeer