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  1. Be the oldest person on earth
  2. Have everyone sing The Unbirthday song from Alice in Wonderland to you every day but be ignored on your real birthday
  3. Find one cockroach every time you open your toilet
  4. Earth was an ocean planet with islands covering just 1% of its surface area
  5. Eat cat food
  6. Embrace stoicism
  7. The only computer you can use from now on is an iPad
  8. Your two closest male co-workers walk up to your desk, pee on it (while chatting about sports) then walk away as if nothing happened
  9. Be dumped into a shark tank with a great white shark for 10 minutes
  10. The Great Lakes cease to exist


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