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  1. Be the oldest person on earth
  2. Have everyone sing The Unbirthday song from Alice in Wonderland to you every day but be ignored on your real birthday
  3. Eat cat food
  4. Embrace stoicism
  5. Everyone you ever meet forgets your name
  6. The only computer you can use from now on is an iPad
  7. Eat a soft, mouldy, sharp cheese
  8. Your two closest male co-workers walk up to your desk, pee on it (while chatting about sports) then walk away as if nothing happened
  9. The Great Lakes cease to exist
  10. Everything look like claymation to you


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