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Options 1129 to 1139
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Have someone slap you in your face once a day without warning
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Your home city was suffering from an infestation of elephants - they're everywhere, getting into every nook and cranny, and no matter how many are killed there always seem to be more.
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The only computer you can use from now on is an iPad
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Live in a graveyard
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Never be allowed into any bar ever again
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Always wear a mask
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Put up with someone constantly asking you for five bucks
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Alien space bats suddenly transport your home city 500 years into the past - Columbus has just discovered America, the Ottoman and Incan Empires are nearing the heights their power, and the Ming Dynasty turns isolationist around this time.
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Alien space bats cause your home city to sink into a giant system of previously-unknown caverns far underground that stretch for thousands of miles in every direction. Since they're benevolent, they turn everyone into elves who can see in the dark but can't stand bright light.
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Punch a puppy in the face in front of a preschool class