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  1. All water in the ocean is teleported into a column above Yellowstone National Park which extends up into the atmosphere. The column completely covers the park and the column's profile going up is in the shape of the park. Whatever force caused this immediately releases the water to behave normally.
  2. Be unable to wear any shoes other than soccer cleats for the rest of your life
  3. Have an ingrown toenail
  4. In exactly ten years every human will transform into a blue whale. These blue whales will be regular blue whales in every way except they will possess the memories and same intellectual capacity as their original person. Everyone knows this is coming.
  5. Discover that you have an evil identical twin who's trying to ruin your life
  6. Fight Chuck Norris
  7. You can't open doors on your own, someone else has to do it for you.
  8. Everyone except you knows aliens exist, but they hide it from you and mock you behind your back
  9. Eat whatever you want and never gain weight ever again, but it all tastes like dry white toast
  10. Have one of your nostrils completely blocked at all times


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