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  1. Everyone except you knows aliens exist, but they hide it from you and mock you behind your back
  2. Whenever you told a lie your pants caught fire
  3. Be deaf in one ear
  4. Have only three toes
  5. Every time you sneeze you fire a shotgun blast out of your mouth.
  6. You become a billionaire but you also become colossally stupid
  7. Find out the Bea Arthur is your real mother
  8. Live as a homeless person in a place with a nice climate
  9. Discover that all your memories before the age of 20 are false
  10. Wake up to find your ear stapled to the ear of a random stranger


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