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Options 1286 to 1296
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Have a donkey's tail
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Wear the opposite gender's clothing (including underwear) for the rest of your life
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Discover that you have an identical twin that everyone thinks is way more awesome and wonderful and nice than you are
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Fall into a vat of human eyeballs
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Take 30 hits of acid
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When your spouse has a cold they don't blow their nose, they just let the snot flow out as it will
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Only eat hot-pockets for the rest of your life
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You are immortal and invincible but you become a solid rubber ball one foot in diameter. You can bounce and roll yourself around and you can speak but you can't otherwise manipulate your surroundings.
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Live as a monster
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Become a werecow