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  1. Only eat hot-pockets for the rest of your life
  2. Live as a monster
  3. Be thrown in the ocean with a backpack full of cinder blocks
  4. Become a werecow
  5. All liquids taste unbearably disgusting to you, except whiskey
  6. Every conversation you have ends awkwardly
  7. Boiling water teleports into your digestive system and entirely fills it. One second later it disappears.
  8. Nicholas Cage was god-emperor of the world
  9. Be servant to the poor
  10. Drink from the toilet bowl


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