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  1. Live in a world where everything looks creepy
  2. Fall into a vat of mice
  3. Smell like Soy-Sauce
  4. Be killed in a quick and painless way
  5. Shrink to 1/12 of your regular height (while remaining fully functional and properly proportioned)
  6. Only speak Chinese in America
  7. Be named Hitler
  8. Have a tail that never stops wagging, causing you to break things and smack people wherever you go
  9. Live in a world where everything sounds creepy
  10. Everyone except you loses the ability to read and can never relearn


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