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Options 1337 to 1347
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Fall into a vat of mice
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Be killed in a quick and painless way
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Shrink to 1/12 of your regular height (while remaining fully functional and properly proportioned)
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Only speak Chinese in America
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Be named Hitler
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Have a tail that never stops wagging, causing you to break things and smack people wherever you go
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Live in a world where everything sounds creepy
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Everyone except you loses the ability to read and can never relearn
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Fight in World War II
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Be grotesquely addicted to cheetos for the rest of your life