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  1. Spend every other week as a tarantula
  2. Live in a world where everything looks creepy
  3. Fall into a vat of mice
  4. Shrink to 1/12 of your regular height (while remaining fully functional and properly proportioned)
  5. Be killed in a quick and painless way
  6. Only speak Chinese in America
  7. Have the grim reaper come knocking on your door
  8. Be named Hitler
  9. Have a tail that never stops wagging, causing you to break things and smack people wherever you go
  10. Everyone except you loses the ability to read and can never relearn


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