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Options 1423 to 1433
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Have 12 children
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Humans were born in a limbless larval state similar to a giant maggot with a humanoid face. They're as intelligent as normal children and can learn to speak but only metamorphose into adult form around their sixteenth birthday.
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Become a horse
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Your full name is equivalent to all of the words spoken by and around you throughout your entire lifetime
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The only bathrooms you can use for the rest of your life are the Burger King restrooms.
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Be a dwarf
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You were abducted by aliens and returned a day later with an unremovable ear tag and tracking collar.
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Grow up in an orphanage
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Have a prominent pair of tusks
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Be married to Tom Brady