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Options 1491 to 1501
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Learn undeniably that the religion you least want to be true... is
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Have no master but never do anything with your life
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Have goat eyes
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Transform into Billy Crystal
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Be terrified of paper
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The earth and the sun swap places
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Find out that your spouse cheated on you
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Eat a leaf from a plant which has only been watered with spit from people with the flu
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Never be allowed to use a computer keyboard again
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Belch fire, and it actually hurts