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  1. Be technologically incompetent
  2. Every morning you are woken up by someone punching you in the face.
  3. Vomit sand once a day
  4. Be killed by Pokemon
  5. Blow your nose with a vagrant's underwear
  6. Have ears on the bottoms of your feet
  7. Your personality suddenly changes so that you agree with everything Donald Trump has said publicly. All other aspects of your personality remain the same.
  8. Be impoverished and hungry for days at a time
  9. Wherever you go, all books within 10 meters of you disintegrate
  10. Excrete a crab


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