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Options 1630 to 1640
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Be a cat-sized beast covered with tentacles
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Every morning you must wait while makeup is applied to make you appear as a Klingon
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Toilet paper feels like sandpaper
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Your only method for communicating with other humans was Facebook
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Over a 40 day period the water level of the earth rises to 1 foot above Mount Everest, it stays at that level for 40 days, then recedes over 40 days.
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Have an odd and irritating little laugh after every sentence you utter (uncontrollably), all the time
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Never be able to eat solid food again
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Get put in an insane asylum when you're not crazy
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Have an arm for a leg
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Have projectile fiarrhoea