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  1. Have paws and never be able to pick up anything
  2. Always be looking for the dearest thing to you and never be able to remember where it is
  3. Chaperone a middleschool dance forever
  4. Everyone thinks that you're actually a dog and treats you like one
  5. Be Jabba the Hutt
  6. Humanity is brought to the brink of extinction by a pandemic.
  7. Forget about everyone you know
  8. An unkillable spirit of vengeance keeps striking you repeatedly with an ordinary tablespoon. Each blow is only a minor annoyance, and you can run away from it for brief periods of time, but it will always follow you and will never, ever stop.
  9. Wake up one morning to find that, although you haven't actually changed genders, you look like you have.
  10. Wake up covered with cockroaches


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