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  1. An unkillable spirit of vengeance keeps striking you repeatedly with an ordinary tablespoon. Each blow is only a minor annoyance, and you can run away from it for brief periods of time, but it will always follow you and will never, ever stop.
  2. Wake up one morning to find that, although you haven't actually changed genders, you look like you have.
  3. Wake up covered with cockroaches
  4. Sweat cheese
  5. Live forever as a painting in a mansion
  6. Be a turkey weighing everyone else down
  7. Whenever anyone can see you you turn instantly into an unbreakable statue. Whenever nobody can see you any more you change back.
  8. Have a heart attack
  9. Never finish more than 85% of a task again.
  10. Eat a bowl of poop that tastes like chili


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