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Options 499 to 509
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Have an intense and irrational hatred of anteaters
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Have someone who follows you around and whenever you give your opinion they say, "He's right you know."
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Watch every single episode of "The Simpsons" back to back
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Have a coconut carried by an African swallow (which is non-migratory)
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Eat everything with a knife and fork from now on
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Become a vampire
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A genie appears and grants you three wishes. However, after the first wish is granted you realize that this is the Opposite Day Genie and it grants you the exact opposite of the things you wish for.
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Whenever you laugh (for any reason) it sounds like an evil villain's "Mwhahahahaha!"
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Everything within ten meters of you is unaffected by gravity (or by large-scale centrifugal forces, so you don't fly off into space due to Earth's rotation). You suffer no long-term medical problems from this.
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Give five bucks to someone to stop them from constantly asking you for five bucks