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Options 579 to 589
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Become a unicorn
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Your left forearm is replaced by a shotgun. You can fire it at will and it has unlimited ammunition.
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Get a velociraptor for Christmas
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Eat a handful of swedish berries
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Be unable to feel guilt
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A genie appears and grants you three wishes. However, after the first wish is granted you realize that this is the Opposite Day Genie and it grants you the exact opposite of the things you wish for.
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Call your boss a dirty crab
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Be one of the minor characters in Zelda
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Have your arms and legs replaced with robotic limbs. They appear obviously mechanical and nonhuman in shape but they are stronger and more agile than human limbs could be
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Fight 50 hamster-sized hippos