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  1. Everyone on the planet is teleported to a random location on the Earth. People only appear on land, and are evenly distributed over it.
  2. Batman hates you fiercly (but considers it morally wrong to kill you)
  3. Fight one horse-sized duck
  4. Have magic boogers that turn into gold after you pick them out, but your nose is constantly overflowing with them and it is extremely uncomfortable
  5. Be Princess Zelda
  6. No matter how often you wash your hair it always feels dirty, however, no matter how infrequently you wash it it always looks clean
  7. Have an annoying song stuck in your head
  8. The Xbox One and PS4 are both financial failures
  9. Have to eat cheesecake constantly to live (no weight gain)
  10. Be hated, but rich and infamous


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