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Options 717 to 727
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Everyone on the planet is teleported to a random location on the Earth. People only appear on land, and are evenly distributed over it.
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Batman hates you fiercly (but considers it morally wrong to kill you)
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Fight one horse-sized duck
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Have magic boogers that turn into gold after you pick them out, but your nose is constantly overflowing with them and it is extremely uncomfortable
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Be Princess Zelda
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No matter how often you wash your hair it always feels dirty, however, no matter how infrequently you wash it it always looks clean
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Have an annoying song stuck in your head
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The Xbox One and PS4 are both financial failures
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Have to eat cheesecake constantly to live (no weight gain)
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Be hated, but rich and infamous