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  1. Your only way of showing compassion is by saying "I pity the fool"
  2. Every inch of your body was covered with tattoos (of your choice)
  3. No matter how often you wash your hair it always looks dirty, however, no matter how infrequently you wash it it always feels clean
  4. Live in a thought provoking dystopian future
  5. Embrace hedonism
  6. Have leopard spots
  7. Go skinny dipping with Benito Mussolini
  8. Cheat and win, but your spouse knows the evil truth
  9. Share a house with someone with athletes foot
  10. The elevation of all points on the earth inverts around sea level. Mountains become the bottom of the ocean and deep sea trenches become the new mountains.


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