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  1. Every inch of your body was covered with tattoos (of your choice)
  2. No matter how often you wash your hair it always looks dirty, however, no matter how infrequently you wash it it always feels clean
  3. Have leopard spots
  4. Embrace hedonism
  5. Go skinny dipping with Benito Mussolini
  6. Cheat and win, but your spouse knows the evil truth
  7. Share a house with someone with athletes foot
  8. Everthing was bacon flavored
  9. Never hear another pun again
  10. Have a long, luxurious ponytail that's permanently decorated with a big silk bow


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