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Options 961 to 971
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Be a peasant in a fantasy world
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Be a satyr
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Helena, Montana, and all of its occupants cease to exist
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Eat a package of Ichiban
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Each morning your alarm clock squirts gravy on your face
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Have car drive over your foot
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Get pinkeye
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A type of magical weapon is invented that transforms anyone caught within its area of effect into docile humanoid sheep. The governments of the world decide this is more humane and economical than regular guns and bombs and use sheep-guns and sheep-bombs in their place.
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Never take a good picture
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Prove aliens exist, but someone else gets credit and is constantly rubbing it in your face