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Options 967 to 977
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Be a satyr
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Be a peasant in a fantasy world
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Each morning your alarm clock squirts gravy on your face
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Have car drive over your foot
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Never eat cereal again
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Get pinkeye
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Be one of Santa's elves
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A type of magical weapon is invented that transforms anyone caught within its area of effect into docile humanoid sheep. The governments of the world decide this is more humane and economical than regular guns and bombs and use sheep-guns and sheep-bombs in their place.
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Never take a good picture
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It rained cats and dogs