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  1. Every year on your birthday you receive a bill for 17 Canadian dollars for "fusion services." Until you mail the requested funds in the envelope provided you become unable to perceive the Sun or its sunlight - the world appears to be in permanent night to you. Nobody believes you if you try to explain any of this.
  2. Humans had hooves instead of feet
  3. A bizarre mishap leaves you a quadruple amputee, but gives you telekinesis.
  4. While not otherwise changing its physical properties, your body gains the density of styrofoam.
  5. Whenever anyone sneezes within a mile of you, no matter what you are doing, you automatically say "Bless You" - even if you or the people around you didn't even hear the sneeze.
  6. Be allergic to alcohol
  7. Be an Ewok
  8. Have an accent that no-one takes seriously
  9. Be mistaken for your mother
  10. Everything you say must rhyme, and be in couplets every time.


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