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Options 1059 to 1069
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Every chip you ate was stale
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It turns out dogs are the smartest beings on the planet and humans exist mainly to serve them
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Be extremely competent but have no self confidence
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Get into a large bathtub of room temperature cola (of your choice) and be unable to leave until you drink it all
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Use the washroom, look in the bowl, and see maggots
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Eat dog food
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Only be able to read things backwards
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Compulsively end every sentence with the word "pie"
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Be a dish that ran away with a spoon
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Win the lottery, tell all your friends you've won, start celebrating, but then, as you go to pick up your money you realize you read the ticket wrong and you didn't actually win