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Options 1060 to 1070
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Discover there is a large quantity of mold growing in one of your walls
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Correct grammar was no longer required in any circumstances (including books, newspapers, legal documents)
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Every chip you ate was stale
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It turns out dogs are the smartest beings on the planet and humans exist mainly to serve them
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Be extremely competent but have no self confidence
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Genuinely believe you are much better liked and much more admired than you really are
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Every second cell in your body duplicates
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Get into a large bathtub of room temperature cola (of your choice) and be unable to leave until you drink it all
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Eat dog food
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Use the washroom, look in the bowl, and see maggots