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  1. Be the oldest person on earth
  2. Everyone you ever meet forgets your name
  3. Have everyone sing The Unbirthday song from Alice in Wonderland to you every day but be ignored on your real birthday
  4. Eat a soft, mouldy, sharp cheese
  5. Your two closest male co-workers walk up to your desk, pee on it (while chatting about sports) then walk away as if nothing happened
  6. Find one cockroach every time you open your toilet
  7. The Great Lakes cease to exist
  8. Everything look like claymation to you
  9. Blow you nose with sandpaper for a week
  10. Wake up one morning to find you have changed genders


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