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  1. Everyone you ever meet forgets your name
  2. Have everyone sing The Unbirthday song from Alice in Wonderland to you every day but be ignored on your real birthday
  3. Eat cat food
  4. The only computer you can use from now on is an iPad
  5. Find one cockroach every time you open your toilet
  6. Be the oldest person on earth
  7. The Great Lakes cease to exist
  8. Everything look like claymation to you
  9. Eat a soft, mouldy, sharp cheese
  10. Blow you nose with sandpaper for a week


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