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  1. Have everyone sing The Unbirthday song from Alice in Wonderland to you every day but be ignored on your real birthday
  2. Eat a soft, mouldy, sharp cheese
  3. Find one cockroach every time you open your toilet
  4. The Great Lakes cease to exist
  5. Everything look like claymation to you
  6. Blow you nose with sandpaper for a week
  7. Wake up one morning to find you have changed genders
  8. ATMs will release any sum of money requested to anyone. However, for each dollar you take out one ticket in your name is entered into a draw. At the end of each week a single name is drawn and that person is killed.
  9. Have someone slap you in your face once a day without warning
  10. Your home city was suffering from an infestation of elephants - they're everywhere, getting into every nook and cranny, and no matter how many are killed there always seem to be more.


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