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Options 1166 to 1176
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Sweat poison (that you are immune to)
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Live in a world of perpetual Groundhog Day
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Turn into a Yoshi (from the Mario games)
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Be a bipolar bear
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Discover that, due to a freak time travel accident that will someday leave you stranded in the past, you are actually your own parent.
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Find out the Little Richard is your real father
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A bum off the street walks up to you and licks your face three times
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Sweat chocolate syrup
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Have one of your nostrils completely blocked at all times
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Become an animated skeleton (while retaining your mind)