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Options 1434 to 1444
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Be a young, healthy Hutt (one of Jabba's race) with no criminal record or major financial holdings.
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50% of the time when people speak you only hear incoherent mumbling (everyone else hears the personal normally)
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Your full name is equivalent to all of the words spoken by and around you throughout your entire lifetime
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Be a dwarf
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Have a prominent pair of tusks
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Become a horse
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You were abducted by aliens and returned a day later with an unremovable ear tag and tracking collar.
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Grow up in an orphanage
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Every email or text you send is misinterpreted
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You no longer have to eat to stay alive, however, you always feel as if you are absolutely starving