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  1. Humans were born in a limbless larval state similar to a giant maggot with a humanoid face. They're as intelligent as normal children and can learn to speak but only metamorphose into adult form around their sixteenth birthday.
  2. Become a horse
  3. Your full name is equivalent to all of the words spoken by and around you throughout your entire lifetime
  4. The only bathrooms you can use for the rest of your life are the Burger King restrooms.
  5. Be a dwarf
  6. You were abducted by aliens and returned a day later with an unremovable ear tag and tracking collar.
  7. Grow up in an orphanage
  8. Have a prominent pair of tusks
  9. Be married to Tom Brady
  10. The government is spying on your every move (just for fun)


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