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Options 1424 to 1434
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Be married to Tom Brady
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Humans were born in a limbless larval state similar to a giant maggot with a humanoid face. They're as intelligent as normal children and can learn to speak but only metamorphose into adult form around their sixteenth birthday.
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Have braces for the rest of your life
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Become a horse
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Grow up in an orphanage
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Your full name is equivalent to all of the words spoken by and around you throughout your entire lifetime
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You were abducted by aliens and returned a day later with an unremovable ear tag and tracking collar.
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Be a dwarf
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50% of the time when people speak you only hear incoherent mumbling (everyone else hears the personal normally)
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Eat nothing but Burger King for the rest of your life