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Options 854 to 864
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Become an anthropomorphic cat.
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Get punched in the face
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Live in a world without tables
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Every spring you turn into a tree. The process takes several days, allowing you opportunity to find a good spot to root. After you lose your leaves in autumn you change back into a human again. You only age while in human form.
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Be able to turn into a motorcycle at will, but you have to spend at least half of your time in that form
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Be extremely attractive to the opposite sex, but constantly farting
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Always miss your bus by 1 minute, no matter how early you are
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Never eat a burger again
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For the rest of your life, wear normal clothes, but have everyone think it looks odd
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You're being chased by a fat zombie