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Options 882 to 892
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Thou must speaketh only in Early Modern English (aka "Shakespearean" English), with thee/thou/thy/thine/etc.
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Fart in an elevator every time there is only one other person in it
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Continuously swap wardrobes with the person closest to you
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Justin Beiber dies, but you have to go to his funeral where they play all his songs back to back in memory of him
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Have a co-worker that you have to work with for five years who you think likes you, but at the end of the five years you find out secretly hates you and has only been tolerating and humoring you
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It turns out that all theories pertaining to general relativy are false (all experiments proving it were faked as part of a conspiracy)
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Whenever you laugh (for any reason) you simply say "tee-hee"
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Justin Beiber breaks both his legs but continues to release music for the rest of his life
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Be Princess Peach
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Wear an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini