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Options 993 to 1003
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Be an Ewok
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Have an accent that no-one takes seriously
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Be mistaken for your mother
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Everything you say must rhyme,
and be in couplets every time.
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Grow to 12 times your regular height (while remaining fully functional and properly proportioned)
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Swim with sharks
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Have bunny ears
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Eat a chip buttie
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Have a long, luxurious pony's tail that's permanently decorated with a big silk bow
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Always work the night shift